Sharp Rubber Duck

State Mottos as they should be

August 1, 2006

ALABAMA	Hell Yes, we have electricity
ALASKA	We also take American money 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
ARIZONA	But it's a dry heat
ARKANSAS	Litterasy ain't everthing
CALIFORNIA	As seen on TV By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.
COLORADO	If you don't ski, don't bother
CONNECTICUT	Like Massachusetts, only dirtier and with less character
DELAWARE	We really do like the chemicals in our water
FLORIDA	Ask us about our grandkids
GEORGIA	We put the "fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism
HAWAII	Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to mainland scum, but leave your money)
IDAHO	Potatoes and neo-Nazi's...what more could you ask for?
ILLINOIS	Please don't pronounce the "S"
INDIANA	2 billion years tidal wave free
IOWA	We do amazing things with corn
KANSAS	Where science don't mean shit
KENTUCKY	Five million people, fifteen last names
LOUISIANA	We're not all drunk Cajun wackos, but that's our tourism campaign
MAINE	We're really cold, but we have cheap lobster
MARYLAND	A thinking man's Delaware
MASSACHUSETTS	Our taxes are lower than Sweden's (for most tax brackets)
MICHIGAN	First line of defense from the Canadians
MINNESOTA	10,000 lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 mosquitoes
MISSISSIPPI	Come feel better about your own state
MISSOURI	Your Federal Flood Relief tax dollars at work
MONTANA	Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, right-wing crazies, rear lovers, and very little else
NEBRASKA	Ask about our State Motto Contest
NEVADA	Two words - "Whores and Poker"
NEW HAMPSHIRE	Go away and leave us alone
NEW JERSEY	You want a frickin' motto? I got yer frickin' motto right here!
NEW MEXICO	Lizards make excellent pets
NEW YORK	You have the right to remain silent, you have the right to an attorney
NORTH CAROLINA	Tobacco is a vegetable
NORTH DAKOTA	We really are one of the 50 states!
OHIO	At least we're not Michigan
OKLAHOMA	Like the play, only no singing
OREGON	Spotted Owl...It's what's for dinner
PENNSYLVANIA	Cook with coal
RHODE ISLAND	We're not REALLY an island
SOUTH CAROLINA	Remember the Civil War? We didn't actually surrender
SOUTH DAKOTA	Closer than North Dakota
TENNESSEE	The educashun stat
TEXAS	Si, hablo Ing'les
UTAH	Our Jesus is better than your Jesus
VERMONT	Yep
VIRGINIA	Who says government stiffs and slackjaw yokels don't mix?
WASHINGTON	Help! We're overrun by nerds and slackers!
WASHINGTON, D.C.	Got crack?
WEST VIRGINIA	One big happy family - No, really!
WISCONSIN	Come cut our cheese
WYOMING	Where men are men and sheep are scared

Send this page to your friends..

Prior | Tell us what you think | Next

Add to Your Social Bookmarks: Del.icio.us Digg Furl Reddit Simpy Spurl Y! MyWeb - Netscape StumbleUpon