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Holiday Fruitcake Recipe

• 1 cup water
• 1 cup sugar
• 4 large eggs
• 2 cups dried fruit
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1emon juice
• nuts
• 1 GALLON WHISKEY: Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pout one level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric lixer thingy.
Beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still ok.
Cry another tup.
Turn off mixer.
Break 2 legs and add to the bow and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the eaterers, pry it loose with the drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.
Who cares? Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something.
Whatever you can find.
Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Thow the bow out of the window.
Check the whiskey again.
Go to bed.
Who the heck likes fruitcake anyway?

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