QUOTES,
Famous and Infamous

That I think, say something important

Collected short quotes, Steven Wright, Mark Twain,Albert Einstein, James Thurber, Russell Baker, Bill Ihlenfeldt, Madonna, Sue Gamble, Ron White, William Saroyan, Martin H. Fischer, JOHN GLENN .

• I put some instant coffee in the microwave the other night and I got time reversal.
  – Steven Wright
  
  
• “Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.”
  – Mark Twain
  
  

• "Do not worry about your problems with mathematics, I assure you mine are far greater."
  - Albert Einstein
  
  
• "I know this stuff su..stinks. But if you want to be in the secret science club you're gonna have to learn it."
  -Mr. Mocarski
  
  
• In 1961, James Thurber, the renowned American cartoonist and writer, underwent an operation to remove a blood clot on the brain. After making a partial recovery, he contracted a fatal case of pneumonia. His last words: “God bless. God damn.”
  -James Thurber
  
  
• Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories – those that don't work, those that break down, and those that get lost.
  – Russell Baker
  
  
• I bought the latest computer; It came completely loaded. It was guaranteed for 90 days, But in 30 was outmoded.
  – Bill Ihlenfeldt
  
  
• “I wouldn't have turned out the way I was if I didn't have all those old-fashioned values to rebel against.” – Singer Madonna
  
  
• Can we just agree God invented Darwin?
  – Sue Gamble
  
  
• "Cat washing IS a martial art."
  -unknown but it is so true
  
  
• "You can't fix stupid"
  - Ron White
  
  
• Shortly before his death in 1981, the Pulitzer Prize-winning writer William Saroyan telephoned his last words to The Associated Press: “Everybody has got to die, but I have always believed an exception would be made in my case. Now what?”
  - William Saroyan
  
  
• The best medical specialty is dermatology. Your patients never call you out in the middle of the night, they never die of the disease, and they never get any better.
  – Martin H. Fischer
  
  
• As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this capsule was supplied by the lowest bidder.
  – JOHN GLENN
  
  

 

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