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General Claus' Official Visit
To: All Personnel
- 1. An official visit by MG Santa (NMI) Claus is expected at this
headquarters 25 December 1996. The following instructions will be
in effect and govern the activities of all personnel during
the visit:
- a. Not a creature will stir without official permission. This
will include indigenous mice. Special stirring permits for
necessary administrative actions will be obtained through
normal command channels. Mice stirring permits will be obtained
through the office of OSURG, Veterinary Services.
- b. Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap
prior to 2200 hours, 24 December 1996. Uniform for the nap will be:
Pajamas, cotton, light, drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose,
camouflage; and Cap, camouflage w/ear flaps. Equipment will be
drawn from CIF prior to 1900 hours, 24 December 1996.
- c. Personnel will utilize standard ration sugar plums for visions
to dance through their heads. This item will be drawn from the
servicing dining facility.
- d. Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by the chimney with
care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fire hazards
caused by carelessly hung stockings. Unit Safety Officers will submit
stocking hanging plans to this headquarters prior to 0800 hours,
24 December 1996, ATTN: AEAGA-S, for approval.
- e. At the first sign of clatter from the lawn, all troops will spring
from their beds to evaluate noise and cause. Immediate action will
be taken to tear open the shutters and throw open the window sashes.
ODCSOPS Plan (Saint Nick), Reference LO No. 3, paragraph 6c, this
headquarters, 2 February 1995, will be in effect to facilitate shutter
tearing and sash throwing. Division chiefs will familiarize all
personnel with procedures and are responsible for ensuring that
no shutters are torn open nor window sashes thrown prior to start
of official clatter.
- f. Prior to 2400, 24 December 1996, all personnel will be assigned
"Wondering Eye" stations. After shutters are thrown and sashes are
torn, these stations will be manned.
- g. ODCSLOG will assign one each Sleigh, miniature, M-66, and eight
(8) deer, rein, tiny, for use of MG Claus' driver who, in accordance with
current directives and other applicable regulations, must have a valid
SF 56 properly annotated by Driver Testing; be authorized rooftop parking
and be able to shout "On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen, up Comet,
up Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen."
- 2. MG Claus will enter quarters through standard chimneys. All units without
chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M-6, for use during ceremonies. Chimney
simulator units will be requested on Engineer Job Order Request Form submitted
to the Furniture Warehouse prior to 19 December 1996, and issued on DA Form 3161,
Request for Issue or Turn-In.
- 3. Personnel will be rehearsed on shouting "Merry Christmas to all and to all
a good night." This shout will be given on termination of General Claus' visit.
Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of division chiefs.
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