Jokes Today

Christmas Collection

Playing Bridge the Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas,
Two guests in our house
Have started to play bridge
With me and my spouse

"Please tell me," she shouted,
"Why didn't you double?
'Twas plain from the start
That we had them in trouble."

'Tis futile, my dear,"
Said I, taking no stand,
"To discuss it with you -
Let us play the next hand."

"Remember next time."
Said she, icing a frown,
"To double a contract
That's sure to go down."

So I picked up my cards
In a downtrodden state,
Then I opened One Spade
And awaited my fate.

East Dealer
North-South vulnerable
_____________________NORTH
_____________________S - 9876
_____________________H - 65432
_____________________D - 8765
_____________________C - ------

___________WEST________________EAST
___________S - ----________________S - AKQJ10
___________H - QJ109_____________H - AK87
___________D - KQJ1O9___________D - ----
___________C - KQJ10_____________C - A987

SOUTH
_____________________S - 5432
_____________________H - -----
_____________________D - A432
_____________________C - 65432

The guy sitting South
Was like many I've known
He played and he bid
In a world all his own

"Two diamonds," he countered
With scarcely a care;
The ace in his hand
Gave him courage to spare

My wife, smiling faintly
And tossing her head,
Leaned over the table:
"I double," she said.

And North, for some reason
I cannot determine,
Bid Two Hearts as though
He was preaching a sermon.

I grinned as I doubled,
Enjoying the fun,
And turned round to South
To see where he would run.

But South, undistressed,
Not at a loss for a word
Came forth with Two Spades --
Did I hear what I heard?

The other two passed
And in sheer disbelief
I said, "Double, my friend,
That'll bring you to grief."

South passed with a nod,
His composure serene;
My wife with a flourish
Let out the heart queen.

I sat there and chuckled
Inside o'er their fix -
But South, very calmly
Ran off eight straight tricks!

He ruffed the first heart
In his hand right away,
And then trumped a club
On the very next play.

He crossruffed the hand
At a breathtaking pace ,
'Til I was left holding
Five spades to the ace.

In anguish my wife cried,
"Your mind's growing old,
Don't you see six notrump
In this hand is ice cold?"

By doubling this time
I'd committed a sin.
It just goes to prove
That you never can win.

 

 

Prior | Tell us what you think | Next

Add to Your Social Bookmarks: Del.icio.us Digg Furl Reddit Simpy Spurl Y! MyWeb - StumbleUpon