Jokes Today

Christmas Collection

The Top Things on Santa's To-Do List

• Cancel wrapping paper order
  
  

• Use those Enron stock certificates instead.
  
  
• Decide how to respond to Ashcroft's subpoena demanding information on what foreigners are naughty or nice.
  
  
• File a flight plan with the FAA -- wouldn't want an F-16 wasting the sleigh.
  
  
• Irradiate all those letters from children -- you can't be too careful!
  
  
• Attend weekly meeting at Nogaholics Anonymous.
  
  
• Touch up the urine-proof lamination job on the thighs before heading to the mall.
  
  
• Visit reindeer stalls to load up on stocking stuffers for a certain Mr. bin Laden.
  
  

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