Jokes Today

Christmas Collection

The Night Santa Went Crazy

by "Weird Al" Yankovic

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys, For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys. When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death, Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath.

From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo, Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo. And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye, "Merry Christmas to all- now you're all gonna DIE!"

The night Santa when crazy, The night St. Nick went insane! Realized he'd been getting' a raw deal, Something finally must have snapped in his brain.

Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it. Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet. And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage, And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage. He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger, And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger. And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen. And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"

The night Santa went crazy, The night Kris Kringle went nuts. Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole Without steppin' in reindeer guts.

There's the National Guard and the F.B.I. There's a van from the Eyewitness News and helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky. And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin' and everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why? My my my my my my, You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doing time, In a federal prison for his infamous crime. Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears, He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years.

But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous, And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service. And they say Mrs. Claus, she's on the phone every night, With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talking' bout - the night Santa went crazy. The night St. Nicholas flipped. Broke his back for some milk and cookies, Sounds to me like he was tired of getting' gypped.

Wo, the night Santa went crazy. The night St. Nick went insane, Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal, Something finally must have snapped in his brain.

Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain! Tell ya, something must have snapped... in his brain!

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