Jokes Today

Christmas Collection

Have a Punny Christmas

• - My local theater group was in trouble when the lead actor, Christopher, couldn't make the premier performance of The Hound of Baskervilles. So as his understudy, I told the young lady director, "I'll be Holmes for Chris, miss."
  (Dr. Robert Hampson)
  
  

• - After escaping from a derailed circus train, the big cat approached the city slowly and cautiously, scratching suburban fences while exploring backyards and befouling children's sandboxes, prompting the local tabloid to blare the warning headline, "Sandy Claws Is Coming to Town!"
  (Rich Chadwin, M.D)
  
  
• - A man went for breakfast at his regular restaurant one morning. Heordered eggs Benedict. The order was served on a bright, shiny upside down hubcap. He asked the waiter why the unusual serving plate. The waiter replied "There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."
  (Paul Harvey)
  
  
• - Once a year, the collectors of antique tents in Germany get together for a rally. Last year, the organizers decided to hold it in Meinz. Unfortunately, the local burghers took a dim view of so great an influx of tourists ruining their turf with tent pegs. The citizens organized themselves so thoroughly that they even had an anthem: "Let Old and Quaint Tents Be Forgot and Never Brought to Meinz!?
  (Felix Kern)
  
  

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