Jokes Today

Christmas Collection

Signs You're Caught Up in the
.....Holidaze Shopping Frenzy

• -- Before stepping out of your car, you put in a mouthpiece, slip on protective goggles, and tape your ankles.
  
  

• -- You've somehow convinced yourself that "Visa burn" entitles you to park in handicapped spaces.
  
  
• -- You call the kids to dinner and hear their muffled screams coming from boxes you wrapped that afternoon.
  
  
• -- At 95 percent off, you don't care if that Acme Iron Lung works or not -- your kids are going to use it and appreciate it!
  
  
• -- On any given day, you have more plastic on you than Anna Nicole Smith and Pamela Anderson Lee combined.
  
  
• -- Upon awakening on the sofa, you discover 10 beer empties, 5 Cheeto's bags, and an answering machine message thanking you for your order of 100 Dale Earnhardt Hummel Figures.
  
  
• -- Your MasterCard bill arrives on a Zip disk.
  
  

 

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