Jokes Today

Christmas Collection

The Real Santa...

Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a fricking book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa

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Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa

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Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? You're weird.
Santa

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Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the reindeer fart in my face when I'm riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch.
Santa

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Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake like in the song?
Love,
Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa

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Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE I have one?
Timmy

Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging stuff may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa

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