Jokes Today

Christmas Collection

Dog's Rules For Chanukah

• Chanukah is for humans, and I will not ruin the surprises by opening all their presents.
  
  
• Chanukah decorations are not food.
  
  
• I am the alpha dog, therefore I do not need to protect my new Chanukah rawhide from the omega dog by taking it outside to eat when the wind chill is -10 F and the lawn is damp.
  
  

 

 

• I will not demolish the new handmade Chanukah menorah from my human's last trip to Israel.
  
  

• I will not drag the stinky candles out into the backyard and leave a trail of pieces through the doggy door [again].
  
  
• I will not dive into the children's Chanukah dreidel game to get the gold foiled wrapped candy coins [which I would eat -- foil paper and all, then puke on the carpet].
  
  
• I will not expect to be able eat all my Chanukah doggie treats the very first night!
  
  
• I will not even think about pooping on Aunt Gertie's stole, even if it falls off the bed again.
  
  
• I will not get into a fight with the bigger dog next door, making my human have to call the vet's on any of the eight nights of Chanukah.
  
  
• I will not get tangled up in the electric menorah lights and pull it down while trying to get at a cat through the conservatory window.
  
  
• I will not pee on any of what my humans think of as Chanukah decorations that they keep all the rest of the year in the garage where they pick-up the smell of little animals that visit our garage and that I want to eat.
  
  
• I will not steal the neighbor's Christmas lawn ornaments.
  
  
• Mom will make me my own double sized potato latke if I do not happy pee when Bubbe and Papa Charley arrive for dinner on the first night of Chanukah. Especially when Bubbe calls me her favorite grand-dogger and kisses me on my head.
  
  

 

 

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