Jokes Today

Christmas Collection

Christmas ala Al Gore

It is rumored that Al Gore has subpoenaed Santa Claus over some "irregularities" that have been found on Christmas list handling procedures. After the recent Florida Supreme court ruling ordered a 3rd election recount, Gore has allegedly said that "checking a list, and checking it twice" cannot possibly discern the true wishes of the children. And the part about "who has been naughty, and who has been nice" is clearly a value judgment that does not take into account the circumstance surrounding said malfeasance.

Santa's list was obtained under the "Freedom of Information Act" and immediately a boiler room call center was formed to call all children to see if items listed on Santa's list were, in fact, the true desires of the kids.

Several indicated that they had intended to ask for Sony Playstations, and instead had checked off Nintendo 64. Many of the children were emotionally distraught, and felt that the entire Christmas letter writing experience was outdated and "hard to understand." In reviewing the post marks of the Christmas letters, it was found by democrat canvassing officials that certain letters, particularly those who requested "G.I. Joe" dolls were not properly postmarked. Those letters (obviously from Republican children) were thrown out.

Democrat officials have asked that Palm Beach, Broward and Dade County children each be contacted in person and have their requests reviewed for accuracy. Santa Claus indicated that possibly there was not enough time to get to each child by December 25.

The Florida Supreme Court is now considering postponement of Christmas until December 30th, to allow for a "full and accurate" list to be compiled.

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