Jokes Today
for
Our Dogs

Top New Years Resolutions made by Dogs

• Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.
  
  

• Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars.
  
  
• No longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
  
  
• Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major dog shows.
  
  
• Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
  
  
• Always scoot before licking.
  
  
• I will NOT chase the damned stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND.
  
  
• I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
  
  
• The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
  
  
• I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
  
  
• I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
  
  
• I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
  
  
• The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
  
  

 

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