Jokes Today

Everyday - One Liners

• A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys in the super market but she couldn't find one big enough for her large family. As the stock boy walked by she asked, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The kid replied, "No ma'm, they're dead."
  
  

• A truck driver on a rural highway fails to see a sign reading, "Low Bridge, 16' Vertical Clearance". He sees the bridge and the problem and slides to a stop, but is stuck tight under the bridge. Traffic is backed up for a mile.
  
  Finally a county sheriff arrives. The deputy gets out of his patrol car, swaggers up to the truck driver, and sarcastically says, "Stuck, huh?"
  
  With equal sarcasm, the truck driver says, "No sir. I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas."
  
  
• An elephant and a mouse were talking.
  The elephant asked the mouse: “Why am I so big and strong and heavy and you are so tiny, weak and gray?”
  To which the mouse replied: “I've been ill lately.”
  
  

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