Jokes Today

Everyday - One Liners

• Madonna is working so hard defending her adopting the Malawi baby and promoting her new children's book that when she boarded the plane to start the book tour - she got charged extra for the bags under her eyes.
  
  

• . Madonna used to be afraid of plane travel until Kabala taught her how to handle the belts. Now she buckles one and drinks the rest.
  
  
• The air is so dirty in China, that when you look up during a rain storm, your face gets a mudpack.
  
  
• St. Louis not only won the World Series but first place as America's most dangerous city. Which probably explains the hottest new business venture for St. Louis - discount mortuaries.
  
  
• There's a difference between living in a ghetto and living in the suburbs. In the suburbs when people rob you - it's in the name of charity.
  
  
• An optimist? Who else would try to borrow $75 in the unemployment line.
  
  
• My home town is so small - the general store is only a corporal!
  
  
• North Korea's Kim Jong-Il gave into six party nuclear disarmament talks after UN Reps caught him making obscene phone calls to Dial-A-Prayer!
  
  
• I've got an uncle who made a fortune selling staypress sheets to Arabs.
  
  
• And he always gets to the bottoms of things - bottles, cans, martini glasses
  
  

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