Jokes Today

Everyday - One Liners

• Boy things are getting really tough in Iraq. A jet flying over Bagdad had its tires slashed!
  
  

Kids used to play doctor and nurse. Now they play Congressman and Page.

Jimmy Carter once said that he had lusted many times in his heart but that's only because he was never elected to Congress.

Years ago teenagers would stop at redlights and neck. Today, they stop at nothing!

Kids are growing up too fast and I blame their parents. My youngest was invited to a formal party - black tie and pampers.

Members of the news media are going to enjoy a better view of the world now. A creative optometrist has just invented prescription beer glasses.

A famous reporter has had so many "hair of the dog" cures for his hangovers that his liver is shedding.

I'm having second thoughts about my favorite restaurant. Yesterday I wanted cream in my coffee and the waitress asked if I wanted one lump or two.

Traffic in (city of your choice) is totally out of control. They just rescued two pedestrians after six months on a traffic island.

On this date in history the Wright Brothers' plane was airborne for a whole 13 seconds and it only took three hours to located their luggage!

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