Jokes Today

Everyday - One Liners

• I don't think the president-elect of Mexico is very secure in his new job. He was just told they're giving him a fold away office!
  
  

• Found out that THE vacation spot for the Loc Ness monster is the Bermuda Triangle.
  
  
• You know politics and football have a lot in common. In football you pass the ball - in politics you pass the bull.
  
  
• Hillary Clinton's speech writers have asked her not to use the word "thing" so often. And ol'Hil must've taken their advice because during her last speech she didn't say one thing.
  
  
• Personally, I don't think Hillary is a boring speaker but I read a report that during her last public appearance, she gave a short speech and the lectern dozed off!
  
  
• Then a disgruntled aide let it leak that when she was rehearsing that speech the plants started snoring. (SUBSTITUTE POLITICIAN OF CHOICE IN ABOVE)
  
  
• Every election season it's the same. The political parties serve up an aspirant and we windup with a serving of aspirin.
  
  
• An elected politician is someone who has enough money to win the confidence of the people.
  
  
• Economic indicators are signaling inflation is on its way. You remember inflation, that's when you buy nothing and it still costs you money!
  
  
• I guess I'm getting an early start. Just got my paycheck from the boss and it was wrapped in the want ads.
  
  

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