Jokes Today

Everyday - One Liners

• I don't believe there's a hell. 'Cause if there were, Satan would have gone broke long ago from the rising gas prices.
  
  

• Got a hunch my new neighbor is a millionaire. Like who else has enough money to fill up their gas tank - huh?
  
  
• You remember 1929 when fortunes were lost in just a few seconds? We've got the same thing happening today. It's called filling your gas tank.
  
  
• Iran's justice system is based on the premise that you're guilty until beheaded.
• Ever get the feeling that Iran's foreign policy is, "Accept our nukes or accept our nuclear bombs?"
  
  
• I asked my five year old "How goes it in the Mideast?" He/she said, "Sometimes it goes boom boom and sometimes it goes bang bang."
  
  
• If you took all the politicians who want to be the next president and laid them end to end - it would be a darn good thing!
  
  
• Democrats like to show their sensitive side to the public. I know one boomer politician who has promised not to lie - unless he has complete faith it in!
  
  
• Me, I've always thought most politicians are as honest as the day is long. But then again, I winter in Alaska.
  
  
• One thing Congress never has any trouble agreeing on - VACATION!
  
  
• Whoever thought up the word "mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
  
  

Prior | Tell us what you think | Next

Add to Your Social Bookmarks: Del.icio.us Digg Furl Reddit Simpy Spurl Y! MyWeb - Netscape - StumbleUpon StumbleUpon