Jokes Today

More One Liners for all

• Some American Idol fans are so ticked off with last week's vote they want the show's theme song changed to "What's Talent Have to Do With It?"
  
  
• Rolling Stones spokesman is vehemently denying all the drugs Keith Richards took has turned his brain into hamburger. And his doctor has NOT given the 62-year-old guitarist a prescription for hamburger helper.
  
  

• Mick Jagger doesn't believe in crying in public - not because he's macho, but because he doesn't want to smear his mascara.
  
  
• I know a dragon who ate a highway robber in Prague. Then he went up to the castle and passed a bad Czech.
  
  
• When they went into the castle's wine cellar they found a colony of religious clones sacrificing divorcees.
  
  
• My dog was killed in a lawnmower accident. Poor Ruffles... may he rest in pieces.
  
  
• Did you hear about the constipated elocutionist who ate alphabet soup in the hope of having a vowel movement?
  
  
• Or the hypochondriac who didn't feel well unless he felt sick?
  
  
• Or the guy who went bankrupt trying to raise thoroughbred horseshoes?
  
  
• I guess that's all as useful as the condom in a priest's wallet.
  
  
• Question: Why didn't the dendrochronologist get married?
  Answer: All he ever dated was trees!
  
  

Prior | Tell us what you think | Next

Add to Your Social Bookmarks: Del.icio.us Digg Furl Reddit Simpy Spurl Y! MyWeb - StumbleUpon