Jokes Today

Everyday - One Liners

• I'm not too sure about the accountant I hired to do my taxes. After he finished filling out my return, he wiped his fingerprints off the pen.
  
  

• But I wanted him to do my taxes 'cause he never misses a trick. Last year, he deducted 24 bars of soap due to water damage.
  
  
• And after all that I STILL got a huge tax bill, which no doubt will make me one of the IRS's most valuable PAYERS.
  
  
• Some things just don't make sense, you know. Like an IRS office with a happy hour.
  
  
• There is one basic difference between March and April. In March you have St Patrick's Day when a lot of green appears. In April, you have the 15th -- when a lot of green DISAPPEARS.
  
  
• (AFTER HUMOROUS SPEAKER) I haven't heard material get that many laughs since I had my taxes audited.
  
  
• Like they say in Madrid - Matadors come and matadors go, but the BULL goes on forever.
  
  
• First of all, I'd like to answer those people who say I'm too damn apologetic - I'm Sorry!
  
  
• I don't believe in anarchy - it takes all the fun out of breaking the law.
  
  
• To those people who say "you only go around once in life" - trying parking downtown!
  
  

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