Jokes Today

Everyday - One Liners

• . Talk about a windy town. Where else can you fly a kite year round - indoors!
  
  

• And POOR. Around here birds don't fly south - they hitch hike.
  
  
• I'm getting monthly installments of a self-improvement course through the mail. It's called PAYING YOUR BILLS!
  
  
• Farm Subsidy is a program that allows some people to STOP growing crops and START growing fat.
  
  
• My neighbor is a little weird. Last year, on the Marquis De Sade's birthday, he stood in his front yard and gave him a 21 WHIP salute.
  
  
• Ever hear of an exterminator who refuses to make MOUSE calls?
  
  
• I'll tell you what my spouse's cooking is like. We were married three years before I discovered BURNT isn't a flavor.
  
  
• But she's great with animal. Who else can housebreak a goldfish?
  
  
• And last week she trained our parakeet to crop dust the house plants.
  
  
• But you know her greatest worry - is there DUST after death?
  
  

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