Jokes Today

Everyday - One Liners

• Violence in Iraq is spiraling. Imagine where we'd be if it went straight up.
  
  

• Iran is this close to developing a nuclear bomb. Next they plan to develop the country itself - all the way into the 14th century!
  
  
• All this ice and snow is having a bad effect on citrus prices. Last week I bought an orange. Had to pay by the drop and the smell was extra.
  
  
• Old friends are like good wine - expensive.
  
  
• I think my wife is trying to tell me something. Came home and found the cat on my side of the bed again. But my wife didn't care. Said - better a cat than a rat.
  
  
• Seems that last night I had a horrible nightmare. I was shipwrecked with a beautiful girl and my contacts had gone down with the ship!
  
  
• Hey, don't get me wrong. I brag about my wife. She's a knockout! - Every Tuesday night at the Women's Wrestling Matches.
  
  
• I remember when my wife was named Miss Apple Queen - she looked so seedy.
  
  
• Did you know there are really three sides to every question. The right side, the wrong side, and the unde-cided.
  
  
• One word of advice nature lovers. You CAN be too kind to wild animals. Remember - Give them a finger and they'll take a hand.
  
  

Prior | Tell us what you think | Next

Add to Your Social Bookmarks: Del.icio.us Digg Furl Reddit Simpy Spurl Y! MyWeb - Netscape - StumbleUpon StumbleUpon