Jokes Today

Everyday - One Liners

• President Bush admits that he speaks only one language. But he never said which one!
  
  

• White House press secretary Tony Snow has a novel plan to improve reporters' conduct at his briefings - mace.
  
  
• If the tax and spend Democrats get back into power we'll be assured of one thing, we'll come into this world with nothing and will leave with even less.
  
  
• Things have warmed up a bit between Madonna and the African Rights Group protesting her Malawi adoption. Seems they're now on sneering terms.
  
  
• Hey, so what if I think a square meal is a TV dinner!
  
  
• A lot of teens want to take after their teachers and would too except for school regulations against packing guns.
  
  
• My kid is a prime candidate for the CIA. Only 7, and he's an expert at bugging his teacher.
  
  
• Now my dad was never cheap with his advice. Unfortunately, that's where his generosity ended.
  
  
• Water pollution is so bad in China, fishermen have been issued shovels.
  
  
• Al Qaeda has inspired the muslim world to the point that Saudi Arabia is investing heavily in New York and has announced construction on the city's first 85 story tent.
  
  

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