Jokes Today

Everyday - One Liners

• Two CAN live as cheaply as one - provided one is dead.
  
  

• Remember, it's later than you think - so think EARLIER!
  
  
• Great news! My ship just came in. Bad news - I was at the airport.
  
  
• Finally decided to get in shape when I sprained my wrist turning the pages of "Sports Illustrated."
  
  
• Went to a comedy club last night. Boy, the comedians were SO BAD the bouncer had to throw people IN!
  
  
• Did you hear the rumor about that actor who's so lousy - even his barber wouldn't give him a part?
  
  
• And insecure? He can only talk to his therapist with a teleprompter.
  
  
• Well, his therapist does use a lot of shock therapy - the bill.
  
  
• I guess you can say he's the typical actor. A lot like French bread. You know, all crust - little dough.
  
  
• And you ask what the typical producer is like? Well, he delegates all authority, shifts the all blame then takes all the credit.
  
  

Prior | Tell us what you think | Next

Add to Your Social Bookmarks: Del.icio.us Digg Furl Reddit Simpy Spurl Y! MyWeb - Netscape - StumbleUpon StumbleUpon