Jokes Today

And More One Line Jokes

• For months I had no idea what my husband did in the evening. Then one night I went home and there he was.
  
  
• My husband is all heart. Which makes it difficult to buy clothes for him.
  
  
• When we dated we'd go to this really wild nightclub. It got robbed and the cops caught the crook at the scene, a stocking over his head with the dancer still in it.
  
  

• I once dated a guy who told me if I didn't marry him he'd die. One week after I said no, he was dead. Some guy caught him in bed with his wife.
  
  
• Then there was Harry. He told me I was the sunshine of his life, without me life was a dreary cloud, I cleared up his rainy days. I never knew if he was complimenting me or giving me a weather report.
  
  
• He was cheap too. He saved on ink by not dotting his i's.
  
  
• And his secret for looking young was to hang out in geriatric wards.
  
  
• Can you imagine if Karl Marx was alive to day telling the workers of the world, unite! They'd all be shouting back, "NO! That can cause herpes!"
  
  
• Be kind to your friends. Without them you're nothing but a total stranger.
  
  
• Did you ever notice when people say "Very good question" they really mean, "I have no idea what the answer it."
  
  

Prior | Tell us what you think | Next

Add to Your Social Bookmarks: Del.icio.us Digg Furl Reddit Simpy Spurl Y! MyWeb - Netscape - StumbleUpon StumbleUpon