Jokes Today

Current Event - One Liners

• Illegal immigrants want to extend their May Day boycott momentum. Let's see Esau sold his birthright to Jacob for a bowl of lentils but I guess we've got more class (or is that gas) we'll sell ours for a burrito.
  
  

• Maybe we should tell our politicians that if they don't take the illegals jobs away, we'll take theirs and they'll have to do something they haven't done for awhile, work for a living.
  
  
• Cardinal Roger Mahony of LA is all for the illegals. Seems his supply of altar boys is getting low.
  
  
• Illegal immigration - the new robber barons' fix for slave labor.
  
  
• Lindsay Lohan is at it again. Wants her two-timing boyfriend's lover deported. Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay, beauty is temporary but stupid lasts forever.
  
  
• A nuclear Iran - now that's REAL global warming.
  
  
• So there's Adam and Eve. Just finished eating the apple. Eve looks at Adam, hands him the apple core and says, "Take out the garbage."
  
  
• It's almost graduation time and all over the country students are hearing, "With grades like yours, the only way you'll get into college is carrying a mop and broom."
  
  
• Etiquette is the noise you don't make while eating your food.
  
  
• Business is still bad for me. It's so bad, even my bills come with postage due.
  
  

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