Jokes Today

One Liners are a blast

• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, now there's a duo with the prospect of happiness firmly behind them.
  
  

• These days when a couple swears to stay with each other through thick and thin they're usually talking about her waist and his paycheck.
  
  
• But I think Tom and Katie's bliss is one of those things that only happens once in a lifetime, or three or four times a day at a VD clinic.
  
  
• Been reading this great book on levitation. Once I picked it up, I just couldn't put it down.
  
  

WILD & WACKY:

Answer: A nervous wreck. Question: What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

Answer: The The The. Question: What are the middle names of John Baptist, Ivan Terrible and Alexander Great?

Answer: It was the chicken's day off. Question: Why did the squirrel cross the road?

Answer: A Do-Hickey. Question: What do you get when you fool around on wet grass.

Answer: The Ten Commandments. Question: Name something breakable.

"Attention, Amelia Earhart: Your luggage has just arrived."

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