Jokes Today

More One Liners

• Charlie Sheen says he's taking the "high rod" on the recent pervert charges against him. Thinks it will be a nice change from his usual low ones.
  
  
• They died out you know. Obviously it wasn't even worthwhile making love to one.
  
  

• Colleagues say C.I.A. analyst who was fired for spilling secrets to the Washington Post was playing by the rules. Unfortunately, the rules belong to Benedict Arnold.
  
  
• Times have changed. Today, Lady Godiva wouldn't even make it to Page 42.
  
  
• Barbra Streisand is angry with the unauthorized biography "Barbra: The Way She Is." She says she's doesn't use and never even heard of Avon's Construction Cosmetics - for people who look like 40 miles of bad road.
  
  
• I think God has a great sense of humor. I mean, he made Tom Cruise didn't He?
  
  
• When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. (Source Unknown)
• Leftist President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela has made a bundle from his country's oil. I mean Rich? He bought his kid a sandbox that came with its own tide.
  
  
• Archeologists now believe that troglodytes were monogamous. I could have figured that one out. Who'd want to make love to two troglodytes?
  
  
• Forecast: 67% chance of scattered weather reports.
  
  
• They ought to rework the Viagra commercials to something like, "My dick has fallen and it won't get up!"
  
  

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