Jokes Today

More One liners

• My friend Irma had just a tad too much espresso and did her spring cleaning with a magnifying glass and tweezers.
  
  
• And even if Irma's unlucky in love - she is lucky with social diseases.
  
  
• Irma's fortune teller told her she will have good employment opportunities this month - if all the other applicants are small animals.
  

• And not to believe everything she hears - especially echoes.
  
  
• Irma tells me that there are only three things she has trouble remembering: people, places and things.
  
  
• Scientists have just found out that the planet Venus has very low forms of life: one cell animals and game-show emcees (adapt to your needs: Car salesmen / Insurance salesmen / Politicians, etc.)
  
  
• Iran's supreme leader has been taking lessons from today's kids. He told the world last week he approves of talks with the USA - Just don't expect him to listen.
  
  
• Boy the French are a classy people. Some of the rioters in Paris took my cell phone and my camera but gave me their card - in case I was ever in the neighborhood again.
  
  
• Saw a report on the TV gossip show, "The Insider" about Oprah's courageous battle with weight. They showed her and her trainer fighting to keep the fork away from her mouth.
  
  
• This was after a study found that older women who watch too many daytime talk shows and soaps were seven times more likely to have brain drain.
  
  

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