Jokes Today

Jokes You Can Use Today, More One liners

• One thing about old political jokes. They never die - they just get re-elected.
  
  
• Have you noticed how most of the guests on news analysis talk shows seem to think that the President was elected by the people - to do the will of the pundits.
  
  

• A new take on an old saying, "What if you gave an anti-war rally and nobody came?"
  
• A recent survey showed that 70% of today's students lie, cheat and steal. This wouldn't be generation dirt bag would it?
  
  
• Some conservatives are so mad at sex on TV that they stay up all night glaring at it!
  
  
• Kept getting ghosts on my new Plasma TV. Paid $500 in repair bills to find out it was the Phantom of the Soap Opera.
  
  
• One soap opera I used to watch had so many suicides, we fans called it the "Edge of the Ledge."
  
  
• They're turning another old TV show into a feature film. The movie "Dallas" will star John Travolta and Jennifer Lopez and prove once again that today's Hollywood has all the creativity of a copy machine.
  
  
• Is it me or have you noticed that the gossip columns are just full of famous people you've never heard of?
  
  
• The only countries neutral on Iran getting the nuclear bomb are those who don't believe fall out blows sideways.
  
  

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