Jokes Today

Jokes You Can Use Today, More One liners

• Scientists are really excited.
  They think a moon of Saturn might have life - they've spotted a Wal-Mart.
  
  
• Osama bin Laden has issued a new threat.
  The next time al-Qaeda hits the USA, the Doomsday clock will have its little hand on the eight and the big hand in the next century.
  
  
• Bin Laden doesn't believe the nuclear bomb is a weapon too devastating to use.
  After all, when he was a kid in Middle East, they said the same thing about the crossbow.
  

• Europe has expelled so many potential terrorists that many of their airport elevators play nothing but "I love a parade."
  
  
• They think they've caught an al-Qaeda spy in the White House.
  Found a cook spilling the beans.
  
  
• Let's face it. For the first time in history, we're producing college graduates who can't say the alphabet without cue cards.
  
  
• And no religion in the classroom.
  When one teacher told his class, " 'I' before 'E' except after 'C'."
  Sixteen kids refused saying they didn't believe in mantras.
  
  
• They're considering a sequel to Brokeback Mountain.
  One of the cowboys becomes popular while dressed as a woman and performing on TV.
  And then spends the rest of movie proving he's not Milton Berle.
  
  
• Isaac Hayes, who provides the voice for South Park's "Chef" is leaving the cartoon show because of their religious intolerance to Scientology.
  He said, 'You can diss a Jew and you can diss a Christian - but never diss the brain dead."
  
  
• Here's a prank you can use on April Fool's day.
  Call up the media and report you saw a government employee working up a sweat!
  
  

Prior | Tell us what you think | Next

Add to Your Social Bookmarks: Del.icio.us Digg Furl Reddit Simpy Spurl Y! MyWeb - Netscape - StumbleUpon StumbleUpon