Jokes Today

One-Line Jokes for Everyday

Jokes You Can Use Today, More One liners

• Small Town? The welcome to was also the "Thanks, Come Again" sign.
  
  
• You know what they ought to do? Make the Middle East crisis into a commercial. I've never seen a commercial yet that didn't solve all its problems in 60 seconds.
  
  
• Optimists are studying English. Pessimists are studying Arabic and Realists are studying reincarnation.
  

• Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad waves an olive branch like it was a club.
  
  
• It's all a matter of perspective. The UN thinks IAEA spokeman Mohamed ElBaradei has taken the Iranian atomic bull by the horns. But everybody else thinks he's just shoveling it.
  
  
• The Middle East is as stable as a Hollywood marriage.
  
  
• You liked Brokeback Mountain? Well, there's a new western from Australia that may appeal to you. No horses though, instead the hero saddles up a kangaroo. That way in case of inclement weather he can ride inside.
  
  
• NEWSFLASH! Dateline Hollywood. Paris Hilton was rushed to the hospital for an emergency operation on her mouth. Doctors said they removed a 2 ounce malignant rumor.
  
  
• Actually Paris Hilton is quite the comedy fan. In fact you could say she's a comedy junkie. If you look at her arms closely, you can see laugh tracks.
  
  
• Did you see the George Clooney interview after the Oscars? He admitted to once battling self-doubt - for a whole three seconds!
  
  

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