Jokes Today

Blonde's Year In Review

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels... Helllloooo!!! Bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got really excited! Finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months ... box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours ... power went out!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid ... wrong instructions on packet ... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!

June - Tried to go water skiing ... Bummer ... couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition .. learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!

August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm .. car swamped because soft-top was open.

September - The capital of California is "C"....isn't it??

October - Hate M &M's .... they are so hard to peel.

November - Burned turkey. Baked it for 4 1/2 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!

December - Couldn't call 911 ..."duh" ... like there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

What a year!!

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