Jokes Today

Stand and tell

It's "Stand and Tell" time in the third grade and on this day the children are to tell what their father's occupation is, spell it, and state what they think their father would say to the class if he were there.

Bobby is first, and he says, "My dad is an accountant. A-C-C-O-U-N-T-A-N-T. And if he were here he would tell us how important it is for us to keep accurate records of our money because we're not too young to learn how important that is when it comes time to pay our taxes."

Mrs. McGuire says, "Very good Bobby."

Sally is next. "My dad is a policeman. P-O-L-I-C-E-M-A-N. If he were here he would tell us that we should never talk to strangers, and to never chase a ball into the street, and that if something real bad happens we should call 911."

"Perfect", says Mrs. McGuire. "Richard, you're next."

"My dad is a psychiatrist. P-S-I-T-C-H-I-A-T, - -No, no. P-T-C-H-I-A-T-Y-R, - - I'll start over. P-S-Y-T-R-I-A-C-R - - - -"

Mrs. Mcguire interrupts with "Tell you what Richard. That's a tough word. Why don't you sit down and think about it and in a little while we'll come back to you."

Next comes Johnny (the kids call him 'Chainsaw') O'Rourke. "My dad is a bookie. B-O-O-K-I-E. And if he were here he would say, "Get out your lunch money kids. I'll lay you 8 to 1 there's no way that little geek is ever going to spell psychiatrist."

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