Jokes Today

New Miracle Drugs For Women

• BUYAGRA: Stimulant to be taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
  
  

• MENICILLIN: Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?"
  
  
• ST. MOM'S WORT: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
  
  
• EMPTY NESTROGEN: Highly effective supplement that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
  
  
• PEPTO-BIMBO: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
  
  
• DUMMEROL: When taken with Pepto-bimbo, can cause lowering of IQ, causing enjoyment of loud country music and cheap beer.
  
  
• FLIPITOR: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
  
  
• JACKASSPIRIN: Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, or phone number.
  
  

• ANTI-TALKSIDENT: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
  
  
• RAGAMET: When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as nagging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
  
  
• DAMMITOL: Take two and the rest of the world can go to hell for 8 hours!
  
  

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