Jokes Today

Joe's Fancy Funeral

Joe was known as a stingy bastard, so when he died it quickly went around town that Joe's will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend.

"Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said.

"You told me about the $30,000 in the will," replied her friend Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "But how much did this really cost?"

"All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand!"

"No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"

"The funeral was $ 6,500," Helen answered. "The wake, food and drinks were another $1,000. The rest went for the memorial stone."

Jody computed quickly. "$22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!"

Helen held up her hand: "Three and a half carats."

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