Jokes Today

Survivor Island

A billionaire and his wife are in their private jet, flying from Hawaii to Tahiti, when there is an explosion at the back of the plane and smoke begins to fill the cabin. The pilot remains cool, tells the wealthy couple that the plane is definitely going down but that he has enough thrust in one engine to attempt a smooth "ditch" on the water. He says they just passed a small uncharted island and he will try to get them near it.

The pilot successfully ditches the plane near shore and the three of them scramble out and swim ashore before the plane sinks completely.

As they sit on a log on the beach, the man says to the pilot, "Where are we?"

"Well sir, I'm afraid that's even more bad news. Even before the explosion I had a feeling that my navigation instruments were malfunctioning. Although I filed a flight plan, we could be 400 miles off course. This little island didn't show on my charts, so there's a good chance we may never be located. We have no means of communication. They may search and search and I hate to say it, but we're likely to die here."

The woman becomes hysterical but the man remains calm. After all he is a billionaire.

He says, "Darling, before we left did you write the check for five million that we annually give to the Northwestern University Alumni Association?"

She says, "No, I just haven't had time."

"Okay, how about the five million to Penn State where I did my graduate work?"

"No, didn't write that one either."

"Okay, how about the five million to Vassar, and Greenpeace, and the American Wildlife Federation?"

"No,no, dammit, I just never got to it. Why are you bugging me at a time like this when we've just been told we're going to die here?"

A wry smile crosses his face. "Don't you worry sweetheart. They'll find us."

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