Jokes Today

NEW "Tennessee Cut" Jeans

Yes, the new one is out!
Brand new edition of... "You know you're a redneck when......

• You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
  
  
• You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
  
  
• Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
  
  
• You burn your yard rather than mow it.
  
  
• You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
  
  
• The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
  
  
• You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
  
  
• You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
  
  
• You come back from the dump with more than you took.
  
  
• You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
  
  
• Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
  
  
• Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
  
  
• You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
  
  
• You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
  
  
• You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
  
  
• You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
  
  
• You have a rag for a gas cap.
  
  
• Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
  
  
• You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
  
  
• You can spit without opening your mouth.
  
  

• You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
  
  
• Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
  
  
• You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
  
  
• The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
  
  
• Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
  
  
• You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
  
  
• A tornado! hits y our neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
  
  
• You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
  
  
• ! You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
  
  
• You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
  
  

 

Just ask for the ' TENNESSEE CUT' jeans:

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