Jokes Today

When an insult was an insult!

A modest little person, with much to be modest about. -- Winston Churchill

He is a self-made man and worships his creator. -- John Bright

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it. -- Moses Hadas

I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here. -- Stephen Bishop

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. -- Winston Churchill

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. -- Groucho Marx

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. -- Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. -- Oscar Wilde

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends. -- Oscar Wilde

I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one. -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.
-- Winston Churchill, in reply

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