Jokes Today

The Morning Before Finals

T'was the morning before finals
And all through the college,
The students were praying
For last minute knowledge.

Most were quite sleepy
But none touched their beds,
While visions of essays
Danced in their heads.

Out in the taverns,
A few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor
Would loosen up their thinking.

In my own apartment
I had been pacing,
And dreading exams
I soon would be facing.

My roomate was speechless,
His nose in his book,
And my comments to him
Drew an unfriendly look.

I drained all the coffee
And brewed a new pot,
No longer caring
That my nerves were shot.

I stared at my notes,
But my thoughts were muddy,
My eyes went ablur,
I just couldn't study.

"Some pizza might help,"
I said with a shiver,
But each place I called
Refused to deliver. (Except for Penn State Main Campus; they deliver
snow or no snow!)

I'd nearly concluded
That life was too cruel,
With futures depending
On grades earned in school.

When all of the sudden,
Our door opened wide
And Patron Saint put it off
Ambled inside.

His spirite was careless,
His manner was mellow,
He started to bellow:
"What kind of student
Would make such a fuss,
Too toss back at teachers
What they tossed at us?"

"On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes!
On last year's exams!
On Wingit and Slingit,
And last minute crams!"

His message delivered,
He vanished from sight,
But we heard him laughing
Outside in the night.

"Your teachers have pegged you,
So just do your best.
Happy Finals to all,
And to all, a good test."

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