Jokes Today

Grandpa Got Run Over by a Beer Truck

To the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer"

Grandpa got run over by a beer truck
Coming out of Woody's Christmas Day
Grandma got a job out at the brewery
I never knew that she could drive that way!

Grandpa was out drinking with the floozies
Spending all of Grandma's hard earned dough
He didn't have enough to pay the bar tab
So Woody tossed him out the door into the snow

Grandpa stood there frozen in the headlights
He looked just as helpless as a deer
I don't think he was afraid of dying
I think he was just afraid he'd spill his beer!

Grandpa got run over by a beer truck
Coming out of Woody's Christmas Day
Grandma got a job out at the brewery
I never knew that she could drive that way!

Who'd have thought he'd end up as a road kill
She flattened him right on the center line
He could have made it to the curb if he were quicker
But she backed it up and squashed him one more time!

Grandma cried and cried at Grandpa's funeral
Not because we peeled him off the road
All the loot she got from his insurance
Went to pay the bar tab that he owed!

Grandpa got run over by a beer truck
Coming out of Woody's Christmas Day
Grandma got a job out at the brewery
I never knew that she could drive that way!

Christmas Riddles

Q: What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

Q: If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?

A: A subordinate claus.

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

A: Claustrophobic.

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