Jokes Today

An American tourist in London

An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and do some sight-seeing on his own. He wanders around, talks with Londoners, visits shops, and stops in three or four pubs for a pint of ale and to taste the "local culture" with genuine English folks.

But suddenly he's on a narrow back street and detects that those pints of ale have "filtered on through" and he becomes desperate for some place to relieve himself. There is none.

So he spots a somewhat hidden nook in a high wall and is about to unzip and "do it" when he is tapped on the shoulder by a London Bobby who says, "I say sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."

The American says, "I'm very sorry officer but I really, REALLY have to go, and I just can't find a public restroom."

"Ah yes," says the bobby, "I understand. Just follow me."

He leads the man to a back "delivery alley", then along an ornate six-foot wall to a gate, which he opens.

"In there", he tells the American. "Just anywhere you want".

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured lawns, statuary, fountains, sculpted hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.

He's hesitant to do what's necessary in such an elegant setting but the pressure is now intense and he can see no one. Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself at the base of a beautiful 400-year-old tree and of course finds instant relief.

As he exits through the gate he says to the bobby, "That was really decent of you. I was at my wit's end. Is that what you call British Hospitality?"

"No sir," replies the booby. "That is what we call the French Embassy."

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