Jokes Today

Are You a Gentleman?

Take this simple test! (Rated "PG-13")

1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:
   a) Lovemaking
   b) Screwing
   c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
   
   
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
   a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
   b) Your blood-test results
   c) Five tequila slammers
   
   
3. You time your orgasm so that:
   a) Your partner climaxes first
   b) You both climax simultaneously
   c) You don't miss SportsCenter
   
   
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
   a) Healthy, creative love-play
   b) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
   c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
   
   
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
   a) The best part of the experience
   b) The second best part of the experience
   c) $100 extra
   
   
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:
   a) No concern of yours
   b) Not a problem -- she can join your gym
   c) A conservative estimate
   
   
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
   a) A myth
   b) An oxymoron
   c) A moron
   
   
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
   a) Appetizer is to entree
   b) Priming is to painting
   c) A queue is to an amusement park ride
   
   

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
   a) "I hope we can still be friends."
   b) "I'm not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone...."
   c) "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."
   
   
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
    a) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
    b) Is uptight and a waste of time
    c) Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
    
    

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If you answered 'A' more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.
If you answered 'B' more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're still a little confused.
If you answered 'C' more than 7 times, call me up. Let's go drinking.

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