Women's health

Who is June Cleaver Today?

Study: June Cleaver has nothing on today's moms

For all the rush of modern life, recent research suggests that mothers are doing a better job than they may think, at least by historical standards.

According to a University of Maryland study, today's mothers spend more hours focused on their children than their mothers did 40 years ago, often imagined as the golden era of June Cleaver, the ever-cheerful, cookie-baking mom on the TV series “Leave it to Beaver.”

Time with children HOURS PER WEEK Married mothers: 47 in 1975 51 in 2000 Single mothers: 50 in 1975 44 in 2000 Married fathers: 21 in 1975 33 in 2000

In 1965, mothers spent 10.2 hours a week tending primarily to their children – feeding them, reading with them or playing games, for example – according to the study's analysis of detailed time diaries kept by thousands of Americans. That number dipped in the 1970s and 1980s, rose in the 1990s and now is higher than ever, at nearly 14.1 hours a week.

This is especially striking because it is at odds with how today's mothers view their lives: About half of those interviewed said they did not have enough time with their children.

“It's almost like it doesn't matter how much they do, they feel they do not do enough,” said sociologist Suzanne Bianchi, the study's lead author.

The research offers a look into a generation of great change for mothers. Fewer women lead the kind of life romanticized in the 1950s and 1960s – with a breadwinner father and homemaker mother. Yet while mothers' hours of direct time with children have increased, so have their expectations.

They have given up hours in other parts of their lives to make more time with their children – cutting back on housework, which was down more than 40 percent over 38 years. They also trimmed their free time – and to some extent their sleep – as they increasingly multi-tasked. Multi-tasking hours roughly doubled.

“This is part of the burden of this generation of parents: enormously high expectations for how children develop, how they feel about themselves, how they achieve and how successful they are in the world,” said William Doherty, a family studies professor at the University of Minnesota.

Noteworthy for both its conclusions and comprehensiveness, the time diaries show dramatic changes for fathers, who have nearly tripled the hours they spend focused primarily on their children. “They're doing more but still dwarfed by what mothers are doing,” said co-author Melissa Milkie.

In all, the research, published in the fall, tells a complex story of family trade-offs and cultural shifts – over a span of years when U.S. mothers entered the work force as never before and the number of families headed by single mothers jumped markedly. This was also a time when families had fewer children and parents were more educated.

“There is a greater stake in each child succeeding,” Milkie said.

Women – especially those in the middle-and upper-middle income brackets – feel that to be good mothers, they need to be experts on child development and spend more time interacting with their children, said Sharon Hays of the University of Southern California. Hays, who wrote a book on the subject, calls this “the culture of intensive mothering.”

But the world that families live in has changed, too. There has been an explosion of lessons and athletic teams for children as young as 3 years old. There are also more concerns about safety and crime, which affect how close parents stay to their children.

Not all time spent with children is the same, so the Maryland researchers looked at it in several ways.

There is primary time, when a child is the focus of a parent's attention. There is secondary time – helping with homework, for example, while cooking dinner. Then there is a third category: just being with children.

Looking back to 1975 – the earliest year that diaries captured this level of detail – they found that mothers gave more time than in the past.

For married mothers, hours with children rose from 47 a week in 1975 to 51 a week in 2000. For married fathers, the increase was greater: from 21 to 33 hours a week. Time spent by single mothers slipped from 50 hours a week to 44.

What the researchers could not capture was what they think of as “accessibility”: when a parent might be uninvolved but is around to be called on – inside the house, for example, when the children are in the backyard.

This may help explain why some mothers still feel their time with children is not enough, Doherty said. “You may get home from work at 4:30 and spend hours interacting with your child, but you may feel bad that you weren't around all day.”

Sociologist Kathleen Gerson, of New York University, points out that parents of the 1960s worried about mothers smothering their children with attention.

Now, she said, “the concern is: Are children getting as much face time as they need, as much quality time?”

Time-mindedness is clearly part of family life.

In Fairfax County, Va., there is Janine O'Rourke, a working mother of two who sometimes feels weeknights are too heavy on homework-checking and meal-making, with too few trips to the playground and evenings of board games. “It just seems like a lot of routine,” she said.

Like many parents, O'Rourke and her husband include their children in their free time. Fridays are movie nights: the family of four, at home, with popcorn and Junior Mints. Weekends are for family time, too, even if some outings are only to Costco.

There is Lisa Pierce, who thinks of herself as “a stay-at-home mom who never stays home,” instead driving to schools, running errands, doing volunteer work, shuttling to sports or Scouting activities.

Pierce said she generally feels she gives her children enough time. But one recent day, she found herself reconsidering the kind of time she was giving.

It had snowed, and her children were out of school. So she took them with her – for errands, shopping, haircuts. Then she felt a tinge of regret.

Maybe she should have played in the snow with them instead, she thought. Or taken them to a movie – something fun. “I spend all of this time doing things for them and not doing things with them,” she said.

That, she would change.

Cynthie Bush often works 9½-hour days as a teacher, which leaves her thinking about how to make the most of what is left. Several years ago, she changed jobs and cut her commute from 40 minutes to five.

Then she and her husband decided to give up some housework – the four hours a weekend they had spent scrubbing bathrooms and cleaning floors. They wanted to give the time to their children – ages 4 and 7 – so they hired out the job, in spite of the cost.

Bush, 36, has not found the time to reclaim her love of soccer and track or her tennis games with her husband.

“The little time we have,” Bush said, “we want to give the kids.”

It was that sense of time's limitations, she said, that made it harder to get out the door when she and a friend recently went to a PTA book talk by author Devra Renner.

Later, Bush chuckled to herself as she thought about the evening: She had almost been too guilty about missed time to get to a lecture about “Mommy Guilt.”

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