The BALL REPORTS

News As I Like It, Not As You See It:

You've got it so easy!

September 12, 2008

If you are 30 or older you will think this  is hilarious.

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with  their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were  growing up; what  with walking 25 miles to school every morning ..  uphill BOTH ways

yadda,  yadda,  yadda

And I  remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way  in  hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got  it!  But now that I'm  over the ripe old age of 30, I can't help but look around and  notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy! I mean,  compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!  And I  hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet.  If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library  and look it up   ourselves, in the  card catalog!!  There  was no email!!  We had to actually write somebody a letter...  with a pen!  Then you had to walk   all the way across the  street and  put it in the mailbox and it would take like a  week to get there!

There were no MP3s or Napsters! You wanted to  steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and  shoplift it yourself!  Or you had to wait around all day to  tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning  and  mess   it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If  you were on the phone and  somebody else called they got a  busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID  Boxes either!  When the phone rang, you had no idea who it  was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie,  your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!!  You had to pick it up and take your chances,  mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with  high-resolution  3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like  'Space Invaders' and  'asteroids.' Your guy was a little square! You  actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple  levels or screens, it was just one screen forever!

And you  could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and  faster  and faster until you  died!  Just like LIFE!  When you went  to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating!  All the  seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a  hat  sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just  screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only  like 15 channels  and there was no on screen menu and no remote control!  You had to use a  little book called a TV Guide to find out what was  on!  You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You  had to get off your ass   and walk over to the TV to change the  channel and there was no Cartoon Network either!  You could  only get cartoons on Saturday Morning Do you hear what I'm  saying!?!  We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you  spoiled little  brats !

And we didn't have microwaves, if we  wanted to heat something up we had to  use the stove or go build a  frigging fire... imagine that! If we wanted  popcorn, we had to use that  stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the  stove forever like an  idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got  it too easy. You're spoiled.  You guys wouldn't have lasted five  minutes back in 1980!

Regards,
The over 30 Crowd

 

Your humble Ace Reporter

Bob

Prior | Tell us what you think | Next

Add to Your Social Bookmarks: Del.icio.us Digg Furl Reddit Simpy Spurl Y! MyWeb - Netscape - StumbleUpon StumbleUpon