The BALL REPORTS

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Pat Robertson replaced god with Darwin

May 15, 2007

Now that Pat Robertson claims that disaster may strike the residents of Dover, PA, a small rural town, for ousting all eight members of the school board that favored teaching intelligent design over the theory of evolution, and suggest Darwin was the man to call.

Pat made the following statement ""I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God. You just rejected him from your city," Robertson said on the Christian Broadcasting Network's "700 Club. Later in the day, Pat attempted to clarify his statement with another statement implying Charles Darwin would be just as helpful of a resource as God in a disaster. "God is tolerant and loving, but we can't keep sticking our finger in his eye forever," Robertson said. "If they have future problems in Dover, I recommend they call on Charles Darwin. Maybe he can help them."

I checked with the victims of Katrina and other hurricanes this year. Almost everyone of the victims were upset to learn that God, FEMA and the government had outsourced "Emergency Preparations to Charles Darwin." I tried to locate Darwin and found out although he was from England and had never been in the rescue business. One victim replied, "No wonder, we haven't gotten any help from the government, they gave us the wrong name and phone number. I hope nothing bad happens to the people of Dover, before they get the correct telephone numbers published.

I checked with one of my sources who has retired to a pleasant party life in "Hell," and he claims the Devil told him directly, "That's the problem with these religious guys, they want to take credit for all of the good things in life and then out source the solution, during a disaster of Biblical Proportions, to some pour soul without the resources or abilities to succeed, when the time comes for real action and effort. A prime example of this is FEMA, and Mr. Brown.

Is it possible that Darwin has evolved to a higher level? Or is this just intelligent design seeping through the internet?

 

Your humble Ace Reporter

Bob

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