The BALL REPORTS

My friend from Arkansas has some late minute gifts at huge discount prices.

Please contact him for details.

Get the model of your choice before they are sold out.

No new models will be made.

 

Wheezer's Pre-owned & Un-used Pussy Sale

Presenting Arkansas's finest fur lined felines for the discriminating pussy collector

 

Young, simple and cuddly, designed for collector that likes to create their own strings and ties.

Model # 77880 Only $199.99 with free ball of yarn

 

 

 

Dynamic new breed for the folliclely challenged collector.

Tired of being the only baldie in the group, get a blad pussy to match.

Become the new talk of the jet set.

His & Hers Models

Model 96-69-smooth only 4 left $1999 ea.

Note: For an extra $2000 and we can match this pussy to your skin tone,

Please send a sample of your DNA.

 

 

 

This pussy grows its own matching fur.

Just think you can can grow your own rug, or make your own fur coat for those lonely cold nights of winter. You will never need to the leave your home in the middle of a snow storm in search of warmth and comfort.

Model 349275 Only $17,777

Please specify color.

 

 

 

This model is a great companion for your other pets.

Model Screw-loose 98 only $399

 

 

 

Pussy-Guard the latest in "Home Protection", ever worry again once you are protected by Pussy-Guard, The Ultimate in Home Security. Get rid of those costly home protection services.

This model only requires one can of Pussy a day to give you better protection than the President of the US gets all of his Secret Service. Do you really think a high priced Secret Service Agent will throw himself in front of a mouse or rat to protect the President. No way, the agent is human and has human fears but this Pussy is fearless.

Model S&W 357Mag           $79.99

Pussycan   (case of 24)         $19.99
(Note order as a set and save $.99)

 

 

 

Bowl Cleaner Model, Just insert this Pussy in toilet bowl and hold lid down, Flush Twice, Raise lid and the owl is clean. Save time and money, no expensive soap needed.

Model --- KleanPuss only $6.99

 

 

 

New Model just developed for Rednecks, this pussy will dress up and do your shopping for you. This model has been bred to select the finest snuff, chewing tobacco, and beer known to man and comes with an certificate of approval from "Larry the Cable Guy"

Only $99.99 Please note: no co-signer (Cash only - no food stamps accepted)

 

 

 

Do you like Pussy by the Pool? Get your own pool pussy with the wet look.

Quit looking at those high priced models in Victoria's and get the real thing suit and all for only $29.99

Model 49875 wetlook

 

 

 

Pussy Mechanix - Strong, will fix anything or any one. Five star rating from Car & Diver.
Never change a bald tire again on you Catmobile. Batman approved --- Only $39.98

 

 

 

Pussy Food

Are you tired of feeding your pussy tube steaks, then feed her the real thing, gourmet buns with real meat for real satisfaction. Only $12.00 a dozen

 

 

 

Yes Friends, this is "Ole Wheezer, the Pussy Dealer" If you don't see the model you like, come on down. We get a new shipment of pussy everyday. Need to upgrade, or just change decor we are here to meet your needs. All of our pussy has been tested to the highest standards. The only good customer is a satisfied customer.

 

Your humble Ace Reporter

Bob

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