The BALL REPORTS

Know your state motto

December 20, 2006

Taking Crime off of the Street, & Putting It in the White House

Alabama	Hell Yes, We Have Electricity.
Alaska	11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona	Yes, But It's A Dry Heat.
Arkansas	shit.Lituracy Ain't Everythang.
California	By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.
Colorado	If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.
Connecticut	Like Massachusettss , only smaller.
Delaware	We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.
Florida	Ask Us About Our Grandkids And Our Voting Skills.
Georgia	We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii	Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)
Idaho	More Than Just Potatoes... Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois	Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana	2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa	We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas	First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky	Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana	We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.
Maine	We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland	If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts	Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden 's And Our Senators Are More Corrupt!
Michigan	First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota	10,000 Lakes... And 10 Zillion Mosquitoes
Mississippi	Come visit And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri	Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana	Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Honest Elections!
Nebraska	Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada	Hookers and Poker!
New Hampshire	Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey	You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here!
New Mexico	Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York	You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney... And No Right To Self Defense!
North Carolina	Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota	We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio	At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma	Like The Play, But No Singing
Oregon	Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania	Cook With Coal Go Steelers
Rhode Island	We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina	Remember The Civil War? Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet
South Dakota	Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee	Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum.
Texas	Se Hable Ingles
Utah	Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont	Too liberal for the Kennedys
Virginia	Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington	Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!
West Virginia	One Big Happy Family...Really!
Wisconsin	Come Cut the Cheese!
Wyoming	Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared Home of Brokeback Mtn.

 

Your humble Ace Reporter

Bob

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