Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away
You're dating a guy, and it's the crucial first few weeks. You really like this guy, and you're
wondering what you can do (or avoid doing) to keep this relationship going and not scare him away.
The truth is there are certain things that women can do that will scare men away. Don't sabotage
a potentially great relationship that could have gone somewhere by scaring a man off right at the
beginning.
Here are six dating behaviors guaranteed to scare men off that all women should avoid:
1. Trash-talking your ex. Don't talk negatively about an ex-boyfriend in front of a guy you're
dating. I don't care if you're on your first date or on your 15th date with a guy, don't ever
trash-talk your ex. Your ex is somebody you dated, invited into your life, and with whom you spent
a lot of time. So don't talk negatively about your ex in any way, because what a guy thinks when you
do this is that if he ever becomes your ex that you're going to trash-talk him the same way. So, when
a man asks you about your ex, you can politely say, "We are no longer together. It was a great
relationship while it lasted, and I learned a lot." That's it.
2. Paranoia Runs Rampant. Here you are dating a man you really like, and the first couple of
weeks are going well. Then, that first boys' night out happens. In the beginning, you send him a
text that says, "Have a great time tonight!" As the night progresses, however, seeds of doubt start
forming in your mind about what he's doing, and you start to think "Is he cheating on me? Is he flirting
with other women? Where is he right now?" So then, you lob another text in to him asking "What's going
on? What are you doing right now?" Even though he tells you he's just hanging out with his friends, you
proceed to make a major blunder:
You start checking up on him with continuous texts throughout the night. This paranoia will push
a man away. So when you are dating a man and he's out with his friends, respect his "guy time" -- it
will make you the cool woman he's always wanted to find.
3. Trash-talking other women. A huge mistake many women make is trash-talking other women in front
of the man they're dating. For example, you are out with him when a woman walks by wearing a skimpy
short skirt. You say, "Look how promiscuous that woman looks! I can't believe she is going around in
public like that!" What you are doing when you make comments like this to a guy you're dating is telling
him that you're not confident in the way you look. It tells him that you don't love who you are and
haven't embraced your own body. You are planting a seed of doubt in him, causing him to wonder if he
he should date someone else who is more confident (and tolerant). Don't trash-talk other women. It makes
you look really insecure.
4. Fishing for compliments. This is something that can drive a man crazy. Here is a typical
scenario: The guy you're dating looks at you and says, "You really look beautiful tonight!" Ten
minutes later, you look at him and ask, "How do I look tonight?" Stop fishing for compliments. Real
compliments come from the heart. Allow us to compliment you when we really mean it. If we don't give
a compliment at the exact moment you desire it, just accept it and be OK with that.
5. Clingy and possessive. You don't need to do everything together. You're still getting to know
him. If there are things he likes to do that simply don't interest you, be cool with it. You don't
have to be joined at the hip. If you are going to a cocktail party together, you don't have to be
next to him at every moment. If you see him speaking with some woman at the party, do not immediately
run over and start grabbing his hand and giving him a big hug -- and certainly don't do this all night
long. You are being clingy and possessive when you do this.
6. Pushing friends on him. Avoid pushing friends on us too soon. Example: A woman will hang out with
a guy on the first or second date and say to him, "You have to meet my friends Jenna and Amy. You also
have to meet my friends Phil and Anne; they're such a great couple, and you'll love them!" A man hears
this and thinks, "I don't even know you yet. Can I get to know you for a month or two before I have
to go meet all of your friends and be put on display as 'the boyfriend?'" We don't want to be "the
boyfriend" right away. It's too much pressure. We want to get to know you slowly and learn what
you're all about. Believe me, once we get to know you -- and like you -- we will be more willing
to get to know all of your friends.
Following these tips will help you get past the first month of a new relationship with a man and
avoid some of the major pitfalls that can end a new relationship before it even starts. Be the confident
woman you really are so we have a chance to embrace you. Don't scare us off before we have a chance to
get to know you!