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Five Dating Phone Rules

Do you realize that if you conducted your dating life like your business life, that you would probably be a far more successful dater? Think about it -- your follow-ups would be better, your memory would be better... and your manners would be better. Not only that, but how you come across to others would be better because you would not be so emotionally driven and attached to every single outcome.

One of the most common dating situations in which people always seem to lose their "business skills" is deciding when to return a phone call after a date leaves a message. Many people feel it's necessary to create some super-special strategy to decide when to return that phone message. This is the most ridiculous thing in the world!

So let's go into it so we can settle this issue once and for all. In the area of dating, when do you call a date back after he/she has left you a phone message?

Here are five phone rules that everyone should following when dating:

1: Be Prompt When They're Prompt. If you give out your phone number and a date calls you within 24 hours, then you should call this date back within 24 hours. There should be none of this "waiting four or five days to call" business.

When your date has called you within 24 hours, that's called momentum. It's called momentum for a reason, and so many people in dating lose that momentum very quickly by not promptly returning phone calls. Even if you're busy, call your date back promptly to let your date know that you're busy and tell your date you will connect with him/her in a few days when your schedule settles down; Waiting four or five days to return a phone message to me is simply rude. You would never do this in your business life, yet that is what so many people do in their dating life.

2: If They Waited, You May Also Wait. You've given your phone number to a date, and that date waits four or five days to call you. As far as I'm concerned, when that happens you are entitled to wait four or five days to return that person's call. That person did not make you a priority, and he/she played games. Although the person decided to call you, what he/she was likely actually doing during those four or five days was debating whether he/she wanted to call you. This shows lack of interest. I know that when I get a woman's phone number and wait four or five days to call her, that I'm really not that interested in her and I really don't care whether or not she calls me back.

3: It's OK to Call Right Back. If a date calls you promptly after you've given him/her your phone number, then you should call this date back within 24 hours -- but it is even perfectly fine to call him/her back the same night your date called you. It doesn't look desperate. It looks like you actually have manners, that you're someone who pays attention to detail, and that you're someone who respects other people's time. Think about this for a second. When a date calls you, he/she is taking time out of their day to talk to you. So it's not only "OK," but really simple courtesy, to acknowledge this with a promptly returned phone call. This is something we do in business every day without ever thinking twice about it, but we don't do this in our dating life because we conduct it with emotionally based decisions.

4: You Can't Manipulate Your Date Into Liking You. So many people think there needs to be some "strategy" in making the decision when to return phone calls. They'll think things like, "Oh, let me think when I should call my date back. Should I wait four or five days so I'll seem busy and not too available? If I call back today will I seem desperate? It doesn't work that way! This is simply a matter of courtesy and being a mature adult. If a client calls me and leaves me a message about wanting me to coach him/her, I will call the client back as quickly as possible not because I'm desperate for business but because I respect the fact that the client took the time to contact me. Playing games and trying to make your date think certain things about you (like that you're busy or not desperate) by waiting to return a phone call will not make your date more interested in you than he/she would otherwise be. All you will accomplish by doing this is make your date think you're rude and uninterested.

5: Being Busy Is No Excuse. So many of us are busy being busy. As busy people, we get how busy everyone's life can be. Returning a phone call and leaving a voicemail message, though, takes only about 15 to 30 seconds. Returning a call to let a date know that you're busy and will call him/her in a few days takes barely a minute. It's better to return a call promptly and let your date know you're busy and will call him/her in a few days after things settle down (with work, kids, or whatever it might be), then to put the phone call off and to think about it. The longer you wait to call your date back, the less likely your date will still have the same interest in you that your date had in the first place.

These are all tips that you should follow in navigating the phone calls you receive from someone you're newly dating. These tips are equally applicable to men and women. So remember to follow these rules, and when your date calls you -- call your date back!

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